Lost and confused.
is what i am.

To trust them,
to trust me,
to trust my heart.
to trust him.

to listen to them.
to listen to myself.
to listen to my heart.
to block out what he says.

to think better of myself,
for them.
for me.

i think, a proper talk is what we need.
me, him, friends.
redemption.
or beyond that.

i've always been stupid.
dumb.
loving blindly.

sometimes it feels like the sun will stop shining.
and we'd bathe in pee.
and vomit cherries and chocolate rum.
and swallow bananas and nutella.
and cycle around the world on a square bike.

the truth always hurts.
seph's right.
i know.
but, i also feel that my right, isn't entirely wrong.
because thats who i am.
someone who loves too deeply,
always has and always will.

maybe i'd stand by his side a little longer.
maybe i'd fall and scrape myself.
maybe i'd bleed a little.
maybe it could all be worth it.
and maybe, just maybe. i can live with this hope, and cope with everything else.

because its important to me.

sometimes i get so desperate, i'd shoot the sunshine into my veins.

High cuts, rocking tables.
Ken's face is starting to disturb me.

Bus rides home,
crazy rain,
laughing, camwhoring, getting hungry.
forgetting to eat meds!
being angry, being sad.
rocking blue tables.

tee ripping.
more chamwhoring.
compairing hand size, watching funny videos.
reading palms,
listening to music, taking disturbing photos.

recieveing only one sms.
being pissed.
the need to cry.

talking about rubbish.
getting grape soda drink.
cameras flashing.
meeting many people. feeling hungry.
eating only one meal today.
flash player down, can't play restraunt city.

thinking of own restrauant, how am i gonna face him?
feeling pissed again.
checking out ken's underwear.
cutting jeans to make berms.

wearing high cuts. talking about starbucks boy.
wishing i had brought my book,
wishing that he would sms me.
wishing that he would be there next to me.

wising that he would reply at all.
feeling angry.

notice that seph needs a sd card reader.
eating cup noodles for dinner.
lor mee flavour.

gooey.
thinking of tie dying,
rubbish.

thinking of early mornings,
looking forward to lunch times.
thinking of sleeping.

wishing that he would call.

a SADISTIC angel from heaven told me to update my blog.
and instructed me to sprew forth my love for her, and paint her with colourful words of adoration.

AHAHAHHAHA

yup school has finally started.
DESIGN SCHOOL ROCKSSSSSSSS~ not like some banana school my darling angel is from.

NEW FRIENDS ARE FUN.
but i miss the rest <3

supposed to be doing my 20% project that is due tomorrow, but have not started.
so dead.
and so draging my partner down with me.

but am sure that i'll complete it by tonight.

He shifted house today.
wonder how he's doing.

AND DARLING ANGEL WHICH GOES BY THE NAME OF C*******T*** I HAVE UPDATED
WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~~~