hey, everyone. this is YT here. i'm just gonna type for a bit before going off.
i'm really troubled these days, i've seem to have lost sight of my goals. and well school is once again such a troublesome thing. i'm really stupid and retarded these days. i've seemed to have fallen in to a pit of depression. and now somehow, someone just threw a shovel down here. its just getting to me.
i feel so tired, so very tired. i think about the fragelity of the human life and how easy i would be to end it now. linking to the glass cup upon my table. to easy to break, the sharp pieces left behind to cut.
as much as i love them, i can hear them fighting outside my door. i've locked it, please don't come in. the intrusion of just the noise is enough. how i wish tianlong will appear now. my right eye seems to have a problem right now. its tearing alot, i think my eyelashes it poking it.
i couldn't get out of bed this morning somehow. i just lay there and contempelated going to school before deciding against it. and i cried for a while. i just don't know whats causing this distress!
well, i guess it isn't really going all that bad. um the good things are that i found the artist who does the "purple shine" GB art works. i plan to buy his artbook as soon a i save up the money. his art book is named "Tsuya Style" arstist is "Atsuko Nakajima". she has really beautiful work. it is really similar to team DAKKANYA's work. (i always pause the TV screen to ogle at their magnificance)
um secondly, i've decided to enter "the golden point award" to try my hand at writing. though the prize for entry is 15 bucks. its quite alot. i'm gonna send in three entries, one poem entry, two short stories entry. the poem entry will consist of my "masqurade" and 7 other poem work. the stort stories componet will involve my "majority isn't always right" and possibly my "suicide" piece i made recently.
ah, the other good thing is that the GazettE live DVDs i've ordered has recently been shipped. its fly to me now i guess. i hope it comes soon.
the bad news is that another 5 people have joined my art class. i don't like this at all. for those who are reading this i really mean no harm. but my dreams have been wavered and they have something to do with it. i'm really sorry to those who are involved in this. but i really can't stand this. the timetable is really screwed up, as some of you might have heard form me or other wise.
the original time table which has followed us for the first ummm, 2 terms have been massively tampered with. originally we have lessons during the POA and F&N periods, which is 5 periods a week, but we have been moved to wednesday afternoon. but i have ball room dancing that day, and so does another one of our girls and we really need that for recreation points. and we have to sacrifice for other people. it can deduct 2 points of o'levels!!
then our art lessons cannot be held during the other periods because of the stupid lower sec modular system! damn it, we are taking the o'levels damnit we should have higher piority! and also we have to stay back AFTER school to provide for the other girls who take art with us. thats like from 5 periods to 2!!!i mean they already have 8 subjects! why do they need another one. they were supposed to have art out of the curriculum time, so why must we, the people who only have 8 subs, provide for them? we need this subject more than they do. and they don't even seem to interested in the subject. SO WHAT of their academicly stronger than us?! their totally screwing up how WE learn!
asking us to 'shh' when we make jokes! THIS IS HOW WE ABSORB!!! this how we learn, its easier this way. don't screw with us!! its so hard to understand when there is nothing to help us lighten the mood! we have gotten by that we and it is how we intend to go on. to don't stop us!!!!!!!!! i'm fucking pissed about this and i'm not one to curse.
---------------
i don't know what pulling me down,
dropping me down the hole of depression.
i don't know whats making me angry,
so shut up with all that suggestions!
i don't want to listen to you,
your meaningless speeches.
i don't want to see you,
you buch of bitches.
i don't want to think of this,
this tiresome problem.
i don't want end end like this,
the knife digging at my wrist.
i'm really troubled these days, i've seem to have lost sight of my goals. and well school is once again such a troublesome thing. i'm really stupid and retarded these days. i've seemed to have fallen in to a pit of depression. and now somehow, someone just threw a shovel down here. its just getting to me.
i feel so tired, so very tired. i think about the fragelity of the human life and how easy i would be to end it now. linking to the glass cup upon my table. to easy to break, the sharp pieces left behind to cut.
as much as i love them, i can hear them fighting outside my door. i've locked it, please don't come in. the intrusion of just the noise is enough. how i wish tianlong will appear now. my right eye seems to have a problem right now. its tearing alot, i think my eyelashes it poking it.
i couldn't get out of bed this morning somehow. i just lay there and contempelated going to school before deciding against it. and i cried for a while. i just don't know whats causing this distress!
well, i guess it isn't really going all that bad. um the good things are that i found the artist who does the "purple shine" GB art works. i plan to buy his artbook as soon a i save up the money. his art book is named "Tsuya Style" arstist is "Atsuko Nakajima". she has really beautiful work. it is really similar to team DAKKANYA's work. (i always pause the TV screen to ogle at their magnificance)
um secondly, i've decided to enter "the golden point award" to try my hand at writing. though the prize for entry is 15 bucks. its quite alot. i'm gonna send in three entries, one poem entry, two short stories entry. the poem entry will consist of my "masqurade" and 7 other poem work. the stort stories componet will involve my "majority isn't always right" and possibly my "suicide" piece i made recently.
ah, the other good thing is that the GazettE live DVDs i've ordered has recently been shipped. its fly to me now i guess. i hope it comes soon.
the bad news is that another 5 people have joined my art class. i don't like this at all. for those who are reading this i really mean no harm. but my dreams have been wavered and they have something to do with it. i'm really sorry to those who are involved in this. but i really can't stand this. the timetable is really screwed up, as some of you might have heard form me or other wise.
the original time table which has followed us for the first ummm, 2 terms have been massively tampered with. originally we have lessons during the POA and F&N periods, which is 5 periods a week, but we have been moved to wednesday afternoon. but i have ball room dancing that day, and so does another one of our girls and we really need that for recreation points. and we have to sacrifice for other people. it can deduct 2 points of o'levels!!
then our art lessons cannot be held during the other periods because of the stupid lower sec modular system! damn it, we are taking the o'levels damnit we should have higher piority! and also we have to stay back AFTER school to provide for the other girls who take art with us. thats like from 5 periods to 2!!!i mean they already have 8 subjects! why do they need another one. they were supposed to have art out of the curriculum time, so why must we, the people who only have 8 subs, provide for them? we need this subject more than they do. and they don't even seem to interested in the subject. SO WHAT of their academicly stronger than us?! their totally screwing up how WE learn!
asking us to 'shh' when we make jokes! THIS IS HOW WE ABSORB!!! this how we learn, its easier this way. don't screw with us!! its so hard to understand when there is nothing to help us lighten the mood! we have gotten by that we and it is how we intend to go on. to don't stop us!!!!!!!!! i'm fucking pissed about this and i'm not one to curse.
---------------
i don't know what pulling me down,
dropping me down the hole of depression.
i don't know whats making me angry,
so shut up with all that suggestions!
i don't want to listen to you,
your meaningless speeches.
i don't want to see you,
you buch of bitches.
i don't want to think of this,
this tiresome problem.
i don't want end end like this,
the knife digging at my wrist.