Hey all~ i'm pretty much fine now ^____^V me and grudges don't bode well =) and i'm not the sort to stay too angry unless some permenant damage was done ^____^

okay~ reporting!!!

yesterday (sat) was an absolutely totally BORING. was looming around the house doing absolutely NOTHING but gaining fat. mountain-fulls of fat upon fat! arrrggghhhh soon i'll be the next 200 pound beauty ugly.

anyway, was ROTTING till evening-ish, before heading downstairs to play SHAOLIN badmintion with jiaping! and i finally comprehend why i wasn't chozen for the school's badminton team XDDD

used TIAN long 18 zhang!!! Quanzhen badminton jian fa. yuning xing jing badminton zhao. etc

it was hilarious! and for a moment there, i zuo huo ru mo- ed!! my racket went a flying hapharzardly in xiao mei's general direction. it landed somewhere near her feet XDD she was shocked to say the least XDDD

then we took a double shot composition XDD [The Disappearance]! first you see her/him then you dont!

haha cute ba??

MOVING ON~ =))

today went out with okaa-chan!!! i love you mom~ today's entire shopping trip and expendature is entirely sponsored by her!!! *claps*

we ate ja ja mian!! haha my mom has watched too much [Trouble or Couple] and too many korean dramas XDD

but i have to say it tastes good!!

Danger*Gang was in CURE!!!! 2 pages *____* hiko *drool* and also there were features of The GazettE's TOUR 2007-2008 STACKED RUBBISH [Pluse Wriggling to Black01] !!!

shall try to translate the aoi and reita parts he he he... then the KAI parts!!! (kai you sweety!) though if its nothing exciting i'll just stop. plus my japanese is not good anyway XDD Hellloooo internet thats where you come in XDD

but RUKI'S HAIR!? its all lion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOO AND AOI?! BRAIDS?!! NOOO......

i was hoping i could grab an issue with Gazette's Stacked Rubbish (chizuru?) photoshoot if there is any T^T

also the other photoshoot with AOI hotness!! the one with AOI IN THE HAWT SUIT!!!! *___*

moving on, and away from J-rock X)

me and my mom, the all awesome food freaks, went FOOD SHOPPING! so gonna get fat i tell you!

anyway... the thing is she only left for taka with 20 bucks cash!! ONLY TWENTY!! and after spending much of it for binnunch (dinner/lunch haha just like liger XDD) then used some more on pretzels and drinks and ba pao (FATS!!!) and then armed with a two dollars left we went HUGE DOUNUT SHOPPING (dounuts are the "in" thing in our house now XDD)

the WORST part is that cannot swipe card!!!! hahahaha visa cards are rendered useless!!!! best la. there was like A HUGE bunch of dounuts pilling up on the tray and as we entered the que i was like "mom, do you remember that we have no more cash?" IT WAS ULTIMATELY FUNNY!!! MY MOM WAS SOOOOOOO SHOCKED AS REAVILATION HIT HOME XDD

we were like ooh shitting all the way cuz we had like 5 dounuts one costing roughly about $1.50 each!!! haha and like i said only 2 dollars at hand XDD me and mom were staring at each other before running back to the racks to upt back the dounuts XDD then my mom started digging her coin purse foe loose change, then we rejoined the que with only 3 dounuts left XDD only to find out that for 5 dounuts, the price is only 5 bucks!! haha and we HAVE enough change for 5 dounuts!! so we went back AGAIN to go take another 2 dounuts XDD haha

this is all for today's report!!! good night all!! i love you all~

i don't know what to say. but you guys, you all shouldn't have talked about me and J like that. we have absolutely nothing going on. and if you think otherwise, please just keep away from me.

i am very angry as it is. i have figging self-esteem issues. and me falling sick is already bad enough.

PLEASE DO NOT SUGGEST ANY INNUEDOS ABOUT ME AND HIM.

i'm very fustrated.

i've have just given up on the one person whom i've like for 3 years. THREE YEARS. you all may not understand, but she was very important to me. please,i'm trying to deal with my feelings for her. its not easy. i still do like her to a huge extent. and giving up is not easy.

i can't just fall in love with another person just like that! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IMPORTANT SHE WAS TO ME. it is not easy to just forget my feelings okay. just yea.

so stop it with the me and him thing okay?!

i'm very angry, and its awkward to talk to each other. I DON'T LIKE HIM MORE THAN A FRIEND, OKAY?!

i'm really fustrated. and sick right now. i don't need this to happen to me. the food i eat hardly stays in my stomach for an hour before it expells itself in to the toilet bowl.

i'm depressed, and if thats not enough, i'm still confused about my sexual orentation. so just quit it. i'm so dissapointed in you guys okay.

its a VERY big deal to me.

i'm too tired and angry to blog about anything else. i'm so sorry.

goodnight.

let me tell you something. I hate myself, so much. i the biggest damn loser in the world. i don't even understand how. i suck. end of story.

i don't give alot, i only think of myself. i'm selfish. i have always admired people who so selflessly given themselves to others.

i hate myself.

i always placed myself first, i don't know how to controll myself. i'm childish. everyone just simply hates me.

i'm irrisponsible, i think to highly of myself when i'm actually useless, hopeless and worthless. please just kill me now.

just leave me alone, i hate me.

i am the biggest bitch in the world. and i'm so redundant, people don't like me.

i'm not true to myself. i'm such a faker, a loser.

i'm a loser bitch. just kill me now.

i hate myself.

hey hey!! first things first~ jang sengXgong gil rocks!!! i can't believe they cut this out of the show!!


awwww so sweet??

okay MOVING ON~

today was a total shitty day at school! i mean motivational talk?! having some shit ass faced woman DISS us is called MOTIVATIONAL!? oh wow~ our school's mind set is wayyy more screwed than i thought!!

anyway, main stupid point:

i was turning around to talk to yu-yu they all then she suddenly grabbed my shoulder!!! hey!! nu nu shou shou bu qing!!! then she was like "can you turn around? (in some shit assed manner) well if you don't want to pay attention, you are very welcomed to step out. now, tell me, do anyone in this school make you feel small?"

ME FEEL SMALL?! WHO COULD MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THAT? beep beep .

so i was "um... no one i guess..."

then she goes "are you sure? so everyone makes you feel like a PRINCESS~" (snotty manner somemore!)

then tianlong replied "no, a prince"

then she went bitchy!!!! "oh! i didn't know your school has a boy! ohh... class did you know that your classmate is a guy??"

oh just sfdjhgsavfsdj,gvdf!!!!!!!!

ugfrfgbrghb

SHE IS SO DAMN SARCASTIC!!!! the kind of "oh class you are SO quiet" like some bitch ass gfdaydfsjfbsafdhlisdfghkbsaldkfhbgl.

okay MOVING ON!

then then when the class was over, she had to do an evaluation on our class the wrote:
the class was NASTY, they were uncontrollable etc etc..

like what you did, dissing us deemed you any respect?! HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF MUTRAL RESPECT?! (sorry my english tends so stray when i'm angry -____-|||)

OKAY MOVING ON

today, i went to the chinese doctor's X) cuz of my 3 months absent period >///<

okay this is damn paisei haha

well okay it went like this: my mom when to consult the counter person to ask if the dictor was in, the the counter person ask roughly what was the problem.

then my mom explained to her the situation, and she was like : oh, is that person married? or has a boyfriend. she could be pregnant.

i lifted my hand and went" umm... that person is me"

haha she was so surprised XDD

then then went to talk to the doctor to prescribe me some meds. so yea, they were expensive!!! in the end it was some hormones disorder thing. [disorder!!!! GAZETTE!!!]

*cough*

ahhhh don't worry justin its not yours XDDD (KIDDING!!!!!)

OKAY MOVING ON

the meds need to be boiled for over 5-6 hours!!! O___o

then then umm, yea XDD they can help my memory and make me GROW TALLER *_____* but its SUPER DUPER bitter X___X

yea....

then after going to the doc's went to meet up with justin to walk around heartland mall. and unkowingly i aided him in his act of delinquency!!!! HE SKIPPED FRIGGING TUITION!!! HEY YOU HAVE A PAPER TOMORROW ON THAT VERY TOPIC AND YOU DARE SKIP OUT ON IT?!!! *kills you*

okay moving on~

we went to buy a basketball XDD then i left for home. (thanks for lending me your ezlink card ^___^ p.s i'm not scanning it in don't worry haha)

the first thing he did after i left was CALL HUA hahaha and reported to him what he bought a bball. awwwww.......

and lastly!!!

[30 seconds] have now changed its name to [SYNDICATE WARRANTY]

from some sweet innocent name to some woah~ name XDD

WE GOT OUR FIRST EVER GIG!!! yea in ben and jerrys ice cream parlour only though... but its a first!!!!

and i want to welcome out support guitaris ARIELLE!!!! welcome >////<

our guitarist spot is for support players, we've not found a permenant one yet XDD

shall we get a bassist?? hahah

we plan to play cover songs like [welcome to the black parade] but i'll be nervous on the keyboard >////<

okay okay, the rest of the songs will not be revealed it the time being (ohhh... mysterious~ but actually cuz we haven't thought of them yet T^T)

yea thats all for today ^____^ good night people~

P.S EMELINE AND JUSTIN GOOD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR O'LEVELS!!!!! JIA YOU!

this is これわ…本物の．自由ですか? is this real freedom? kore wa honmono no jiyu desuka?

and MY HANDPHONE!!!! i officially hate UHU glue D<

Hiko and Waka!!!! i think they are really sweet together~ even though i love Hiko myself XDDD
but these two make a really sweet pair. though they are only good friends and are both girls -___- but their relationship is really good, and the keep posting abt each other on their blogs >DD HEHE~ pictures are coutesy of themselves.

HIKOxWAKA:

hey everyone ^___^ \/ thanks for being concerned for me! *bows* i'm pretty much alright now, after a whole session of emo-ing, bits of chocolate from Joelle and and HUGE bout of Danger☆Gang i'm fine now. ablet with a whole new obession over Danger☆Gang and Hiko♥

------
And i am VERY aware that people are very offended my my offstandish and most definately unintentional behaviour, and i sincerly apologize for my igorance. i understand that some people out there, being my friends or not, detest me right now, but please let me know. i want to know why i'm deserving such animosity, i'll watch out for my behaviour from now on. i'm terriblely sorry for the riff caused! i'm so so so sorry!!!

-----

Danger*gang rocks like mad!!! i've been surfing Hiko's and Waka's blogs since last night *____* HIKO-SAMA!!!! she's my idol!!! one day i would like to grow up like her!!!! i think i shall do some HUGE pic spam, while [Samurai] and [Retsu] is still playing! and for a girl, Waka voice sounds really great (dude-ish) and Hiko's Guitar is superb!!! really great rock man!!!!



and i think that Hiko looks kinda like Antic Cafe's Kanon!!! and sometimes like Teruki!



Kanon (3rd from the left) & Teruki (4th from the left):

HIKO PIC SPAM!!! o(>///<)o :

hi, today was a bad day. tension was so thick that a knife could cut it. i'm not the kind of person who likes to be in that kind of situation, those who know me would know. but guys, please don't be too angry! everyone are friends right?

i sincerly apologize if i had, offended anyone today. and brinal, i'm terriblely sorry for that kick! i didn't know that you would walk forward!!! i'm sorry!!!! i am so so so sorry!

and everyone, i know that come snide comments were made, please chill out for a moment. as a kid its hard to mince words of filter them. i know he was rather irritatable today, but he's just a kid. at most just ignore him? please all of you stay happy? tianlong is in an irritatable mood, he feels rather unsettled, as do i.

i hope that this issue between us doesn't spoil the mood for the coming holidays, and for some, exams. yea, i guess thats all on that subject.

-----

oh~ i just found a new band. they are called [Danger*Gang] they are super cool for a all-girl band! yes, they are part of the visual kei scene XDD

the person that attracted me to the band was HIKO! their guitarist ^___^ She's pretty hot for a girl... *_____* she's so cool! i wanna be like her!!!!

HIKO:


hot *___* i would turn for her!!! haha

and MY CDS! AHHHH i've been refreshing the CDjapan page to see if my [Very.Importan.Doll] CD has gotten on hand so long X____X GAZETTE I"M WAITING!!!!!



i guess i should stop here. there's founder's day tomorrow and a clique outing. i guess the eariler issue will be gone over again.

hello, today is abuse the eugenice chen day D= ahhh today sucks~

i was sooooooooo abused T^T tianlong is angry~ wah, the only good thing that was derived today is probaly band pratice ^____^. i have to admit we sound quite good, i i think [30 seconds] is better off without me DX i keep screwing up!!

and after practice in the hall, we, annie, zelia and myself ajourned to the chicken rice b-ball court there. Zelia and Annie ate chicker rice *____* but due to monetary constrains, i resulted in eating absolutely nothing at all! ahhhh had really bad gastrics after that. i totally regretted NOT eating. boo...

then hui min and PeiL played b-ball!!! mesurashi desu ne? then then we went to play vs with this two other guys. one whom i've met before. HE RAMMED IN TO ME THREE TIMES!!!! IN THE FRIGGING CHESTAL AREA!!!! i had difficulty breathing T^T owww..... then then i got HIT by the ball so many times!!!

on the head 2 times (courtesy of xiao hua)
on the arm 1 time (courtesy of xiao hua)
stomach 1 time (courtesy of xiao hua)
foot 1 time (own carelessness)

MOST OF THE DAMAGE WAS DONE BY XIAO HUA!

then got blisters! I HATE MY NEW FRIGGING SCHOOL SHOES!!! thank the lords i didn't throw away my old rotting pair, i gonna wear that pair back. either that or i totally annliate my new pair.

goshhhhhh....

anyway, i am now having a "toot. toot. leave a message after the beep" conversation with just tea -___-||| he is one funny dude X____X

p.s I AM HAVING A HUGEEEEEE ART BLOCK!!! AND I AM NERVOUS ABOUT TOMORROW'S PERF!


CDs PLEASE HURRY AND ARRIVE!!!!! I LOVE [BURIAL APPLICANT]

OH MY GOD!!! arrrghhhhhhh kill me now! i'm gonna die from heart palpications! or whatever that word is... :/

I BOUGHT GAZETTE's [STACKED RUBBISH] ARGHHHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

WAHAHAHA AND GAZETTE's [DISORDER] WHOO HOO!!!!

AND AND VIDOLL'S [VERY IMPORTANT DOLL] ARGHHHHHHHHHH

AND MIYAVI'S [IITOSHI HITO (TYPE B)]

and that therefore concludes my SECOND half of my birthday present from my parents. and that also marks the start of the LONG EXCRUCIATING WAIT for the CDs to arrive! *_____*

p.s MY PARENTS BOUGHT ME A BAMBOO!!! (wacom)

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! i love you guys!!!!! though it can't match up to my sister's birthday expenses which was brought about with a $600 shopping trip to TOPSHOP and a full buffet set for her party. in total a $900 birthday day. D<

any wayyy

GAZETTE ROCK IS NOT DEAD! GAZETTE!!!!!!!!


whewwww.... gazette *___*

hey guys, i mean all that know me and my contempelative sexuality complex? i have to finally end this unsatisflyable one-sided love with that person. i have washed my hands clean of the whole situation and given up on her. i guess girls are really too high mantainence. goshhhhh... and well the stink of that dying rotting love ain't gonna satisfy my no longer. this is tying be down and taking me under. but i'm still wavering i guess. but its just so unreachable and yet so close. its killing me softly, slowly inside.

this is new found freedom, i'm free to do what i want now ^____^

OHHHH and i just watched [BURIAL APPLICANT] by GAZETTE

the story line of their song is SO sad!!!!!! but i don't like how ruki is changing their style and his unique singing voice to suit the americans! NOO J-ROCK ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!! i want his deep slurly voice back! and i don't want the disk-jocky stuff in the background!!!!!!! T^T but this should only be temporary!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAZETTE i want the $ocial Riot Machines stuff back!!!!



BURIAL APPLICANT

today is the 3rd of october~ tianlong's and my birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIANLONG~ I LOVE YOU!!! ore no warikan jinkaku <3 yea~ this will be the last post before my birthday ends! yea!

today was a FUN day XDD very darn satisfied! THANKS EVERY ONE WHO MADE THIS DAY FUN AND ENJOYABLE! I LOVE YOU GUYS~

the extreme great people who spent the wonderful day with me:
jiaping <3
evon
mabel
yeeshan
peiling
huimin
justin
brinal

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ALL!!!!

YOU ROCK~

we play BOWLING TODAY! and boy was it fun!! i had 2 strikes in a row!!!! and justin's bowling was like WOW! and jia ping was like~ suay~ (but thanks for the laughs! you beat me in the second round though)

yea, then during recess my wonderful clique gave me chocolate mini cupcakes with candles!! to celebrate my B-day ^___^ the unexpected thing was they used the relighting candles! wahhh i had to keep on blowing and blowing and it won't go out! haha but it was funny~ it took me by surprise XDD i love you guys~

then wah an sms came in "i'm outside your school now" (courtesy from justin) i tell you we all RUSHED to the gate only to see him gone XDD or did he actually turn up at all?! haha well...

BUT YOU SHOULDN'T SKIP SCHOOL LIKE THAT! haha what if you get cramps again?! XDD but well~

hey hey~ [30 seconds] is playing for chapel next week!!! look out for us~ yea~

and poor brinal, trying hard to save up for my present XDD thank you!!!!!

ohhhh the "best" thing was that my sister got me A SLICE of oreo cheeze cake for my birthbday and said that it was the thought that counts then then she goes like "so? can i eat it now??" so in the end i only managed to eat one miserable forkful of cake DX

well will blow out the REAL cake when my father comes back from work~ maybe tomorrow?? most importantly i wanna celebrate my birthday with my whole family (chen)!!!

this year's birthday is GREAT! thank you all who gave me such a wonderful time!!! really, it beats being slapped in the face in the middle of orchard road!! (last year)

thank you

AND OHHHH!!!! THE MOST REWARDING THING FROM TODAY!!! (taken by our very own peiling, snagged it from her blog!) :


main point: justin and hua hua!! XDD you both MADE MY DAY! love ya too~ <3