damn... i did'nt go to school today, and i'm REALLY suspecting that i have brain tumor or sumthing... i always get these headaches and this was one of the few that hurt so much that it made me cry. damn it fu*king hurts... arrrrrgggghhh!!! and i am damn lazy lar, i still have'nt edited the images for posting.

there was a math test 2 days back and i am SOOO sure i failed it. Fu*k i did every thing wrongly lar. factorize became expansion and expansion becamr factorization!!! in short i did EVERYTHING WORNGLY F**KIT..... GRRRRRRRRR.

me and my BIG mouth, sigh there is tension between us again. sigh isa, you should'nt have said anything... (i'm not blaming you, i know you were worried) but i guess i was kinna jelous. it would be a lie if i said i was not. sorry!! sorry bear!!! i was mean... sorry... T_T (okayy... i'm literaly crying... shit! i can't see the screen) damn. sigh today sucked. i went out for nothing, made my dad anger(for a while) and created tension between me and bear. i'm like damn sad lar. shit! i even started crying when i saw someone's back (cuz she looked like bear from the back)... sorta crying or more like felt a wave of depression?

NAPFA 5 ITEMS ARE OVER!!! YAY!!! I FAILED NOTHING! YAY! 3 As!!! YAY!!! after the 5 items, i had the HUGE urge to continue to exercise. (excess adredeline? how to spell that?) so i ran 4 round around the basketball courts. (Mad.) but now i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY having huge muscle aches!! owww...... my arm is really aching! its amazing i can get 10 pull ups!!!!! WOAH! i passed!!!!!

today's relationship with bear was better! yay. i actually managed to walk side by side with her without her pushing me away it was better than yesterday at least. yay, she seems to be in a better mood today too! yay, hope she stays happy! i also wish her all the luck for her 5 items! hehe. and i guess she also probably did'nt realize i placed my hand on her waist when we were walking. lol. the sec ones were staring. (i guess)

i had a GRRRREEEAAAATTTT dream last night! nya~ i dreamt that beverly held my hand! wheeee~! but my mom just HAD to wake me up did'nt she? lol. sighh... i was so happy, i mean she heald my hand and smiled at me!! swoon~ sigh i'll bet she won't do that... if she did, i'll...i'lll...errr....I'LL EAT A TUB OF WASABI! hahaha....

and if EVER she kisses me (NEVER POSSIBLE) i'll like jump down the building. haha. but i really wonder, if she already likes some one. and i'm SURE it won't be a girl, i mean she as straight a s a ruler! (but i secretly wish she will be so straight till she bends heh)

thou shall now leave and start typing my Black Cat fanfic.

there is seriously something wrong with my com, either that or i have ESP (which i highly doubt). its like all the webbies that was there yesterday is gone today!shit. and on monday morning, i was rushing out of the house so i RANDOMLY grabbed a book from the book shelf. and guess what i got? i got feng shui for love! WTH! i like someone telling me to like turn to these things?! juz becoz if my CURRENT problems... sigh, bear almost broke my arm today. i guess it was partly my fault, no more like ALL my fault. but the thing is, i can't bear to be too far away from her. but it now seems like i can't be proper frends with her now, not after telling her that i like her.... sigh. NAPFA IS COMING!!! F**K!

i went to deviantART today, submitted ALL the doujin i had of cloud a kadaj. haha, updated a few things. got up the club. err... joining contest for cloudXkadaj in kimonos. errr...

was rather sad today when i went home.

Bear is a sadist!!! she is so mean. even though i know she did'nt mean what she said but i still feel sad hearing her say that she liked some one else. i mean, i guess i have no right to be jealous... we arn't even together. hmm... though the urge to hold her hand and hug her is getting stronger. i mean i'll be contented to just sit down with her and hold her hand. but thats not gonna happen. hell no. definately not. but if on the rare off chance that i get to do that, i'll be a happy kitty and i'll actually start beliving that there IS a God. LoL.

*sigh* darn, my leg is damn itchy, stupid F**king mosquitoes in pulau ubin! but it'll be a huge lie if i said that the trip wasn't fun. planting the tree was fun and just walking nearby and talking to Bear was fun.

i was kinna happy. cuz of ALL the 3 days of "learning journey" i finally get to be in a group with Bear. LoL. before that i could almost swear there was something wrong with the school cuz i was always seperated from her. haha. haha i miss her already. i mean its like i think of her 24/7 lol, thats freaky.

hi.... its been a long time since i posted anything *sigh* i am really depressed. there is only wild adapter to cheer me up. sigh. i am really getting further and further away frommy old friends. the once i cherish alot but now we don't seem to have many things in common any more. people change i guess. maybe they are into something new i don't even know. sigh there are not many GIRLs i can relate too sigh. and my relasionship with HIM is getting worse because i had to be the IDIOT with the BIGMOUTH and HAD to sak that question. sigh, we can never go back to the past can we?