Current Keyboardist, Future Bassist.
One who won't grow up.
-Syndicade Warranty-

i find myself thinking of our band =D
Can't wait for O'levels to be OVAR~! Then we can get back to jamming <3>D
AND MAKING SONGS~! my first song shall be called "Judy."
(for obvious reasons, i love her)

"I want to perish, fade away! AWAY!AWAYYYY!
SO RUN ME OVER NOW!
With your luggage trolley!!!!
lalalala~!"

Dedicated to Chong's bestfriend ofcourse >D

Popo Tea came to life today in my art class.
She was such fun.
One who could only smirk,
and think, dream, yearn for tea.

=D

Studied mole concept with Crystal today,
THANK THE LORDS!
I actually UNDERSTOOD something. yup yup, my nu-er is a good tuitor!!
(Nu-er i got something to tell YOU!!!! regarding ummmm... a green vegetable!)

And something surprising snuck up on me today.
and now i having MAD CRAMPS! Hurt!!!

Talking to CJ-kun on msn~!
haha we're gonna study~!!! BISHAN LIBRARY?!
its been so long since i've seen him! Since WAY before we broke up????
anyways, gonna call some old school friends as well~! XD

OH MY SHIT!
i cut CHERYL's HAIR TODAY!
(and thine own)
BOTH OUR HAIR ARE SCREWED UP!!

And i TOLD her to stop MOVING HER HEAD, AND LOOK UP when i cut her hair.
OH WELL.
its also partially my fault for not turning on the fan and such.
SORRRYYY!!!! (> w <)!!! i chopped off my own fringe to make it up to her. she says i now look ah-lian. (shittttttt....) NO NO I WANNA HAVE SAM's HAIR STYLE! OMFG. CamWHORED LIKE MAD after cutting my hair!
(STOMACH IS ACTUALLY FAT , such is the power of sucking it in, and leaning back!)

SOME KIND OF CAMWHORING BUSINESS.
PLEASE ignore to prevent BRAIN EXPLOSION.
Crazyyyy eyebrows~!





BLVGARI, Pour Homme Sior. Cologne



Thats all for Eugene.
BYE-BI~! <3

BBBZzzzz.... i should be doing my Emath naO ;___;

neways. finally caught Superband todayy~! i love ethereal's bassist <3<3 and i was just thinking of cutting that hairstyle today =DD

he looks pretty~! (SAM~~!!!!)

Have to do my geog soon!!! RUBBISH XD

(= 3=) BORINGGGG!!!

OH OH~! (> w<)\/ PHOTOSHOOT~!~! Glad to be of help =D I NEED THE BREAK.

O'levels submisstion date is drawing nearer and nearer!!! (O__Q) HAO!?HOW!? STILL staying back everyday! AHHHH!!!! This friday gonna stay over the school to paint. better prepare all my research before that!!!

My nu-er is staying back to help me with my mole concepttttt!!!!! THUNK KEWWW <3<3


GONNA GO CHOP CHOP CHOP MY HAIRRRRR <3<3

Been losing it.

Bio is freaking me out. shall i share a short summary from my textbook?
To test for bio mass, DRY 10 RABBITS IN THE OVEN AT 100DEGRESS. TILL MASS REMAINS THE SAME.

Ew.

( = 3=)/

I'm not okay. (I promise)
-My Chemical Romance.


I'm NOTTTTT OOOKAAY~!
i'm not okaaaaayyyyyyyyehhhhh~!
i'm not okayyyyeeehhhhhh, you wear me outtttt~!!!

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK!

I'm NOTTTT OKAAAYYYYY!!!!!
i'm not oookaaayyyyyyehehehehhhhhh!
I'm NOT okayyyyyyeeeehhhhhhehhhhhh, YOU WEAR ME OUTTTTT~!!!!

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the PAGES are all TORN and FADED!

I'm okay
I'm okKAAAAYYYYYYY!
I'm okay, NAOO
(I'm okay, now)

But you REALLY need to listen to me
Because I'm TELLING you the truth
I mean THIS, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm NOT OOOOOOOOKAY
I'm not OKAYYYYYYIIIEEEEEHHHHEEHHHHHH!!!
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-FUCKING-kay
I'm not OKAYYYY
I'm not OKAY-EE-EH
(Okay)

Labels: '

Still singing the songs, LOUDLY.

I'm working hard now. The largest hurdle right now, would be my art olevels. i'm taking everybody's advice, and am trying my best. Thanks for the support, everyone.

Starting to stay in school till 6-7Pm. just to do my art. whew, tiring. i have less than a month to get ready. but having my prelims so near, its not really helping (cries).

"Bvulgari Pour Homme Sior" My perfume. Andddd, the most expensive thing i own.

Found these in my sister's camera, taken from the day my Bvulgari came home with me =D
my flat hair and short fringe, and short eyebrows (smile)

nothing much been happening at school D=

but sometimes i hope my class girls will keep quiet during lessons. i'm hoping to catch up on my studies ;___;

MISS NIAR, you hurt me sooooo!!! DON'T TALK ABOUT IT~!! ;___;

deadline is comming nearer!!!!!! (less then 30 days)

Its over.

listening to melancholic songs in my itunes now. watched a sad movie, sang a moody song. i feel really sad.

The musical is over. and the rushing of everything is over. i feel rather empty now.

i'll miss all the hard work, all the effort, and everything.

i'll miss the juniors, the new friends.

the enthusiasm, the fun, the moments.

the musical was indeed, one important moment in my life. it was everything.

it was worth the stressing over, the late hours, the time and effort. I love everything about it. I don't want it to fade.

i think, i'll never ever regret joining the musical. it leaves an impression, everlasting. i won't ever forget.

it was a torrent of emotions.

I'll never forgive her, for making teng cry. those tears were not to be wasted on you.

all the breakdowns, the tears, and the joy.

i love everyone.

and the teachers were SO awesome.

Gosh.
Girls In Black
Winner babes
90 degree fingers
Thai kickboxing XD
the dancing backstage
Pretty Jesus
Our hearts as one.
Magnify his name.
SPRING OASIS
Jerico life
Hair flips
Bimbo acting/dancing

I'll miss all of them.

and i'm still humming the songs in the musical.
i'll never forget them.

next will be sec 4 farewell. i just don't want to leave.

i'll miss this.

I love Shakespeare. PERIOD =D

For her love, not spawn forth by mouth, nor eyes, nor heart.
Can that really be called love at all?
For would i forsooth to my fate,
of one so loveless,
yet so devoted,
utterly devoured by the sea of roses?
For so denied of love, will i fade?
Would i not then, be of no worth?
She who holds stars, whos eyes like crystals
thats entices me so.
For art thou not one, whom i dotes, love?
Doth swings forth of waxen wings, of broken loves?
Like icarcus will i so fall to my doom?
Thy am weak to your strong,
For thou art one, whom catches my heart.

---

Jeannifer Love Hewitt
"Love will show you everything"
If Only.

Today.
Today i bet my life.
You have no idea, what i feel inside.
Don't be afraid to let it show,
for you'll never know if you let it hide

I love you, you love me. Take this gift and don't ask why....

Utterly wonderful song.

-
Musical is tomorrow, i pray so hard that i don't screw up. I pray that everything will go smoothly, and all of us, will be able to do the tasks appointed to us, with presision and confidence. May we not screw up, and let it be A WONDERFUL MUSICAL, THAT TOUCHES THE PEOPLE. SHOWING THEM THE LOVE OF GOD!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

i was thinking of getting another piercing, may the pain give birth to my new resolution of working hard =D

Haven't blogged for so long XD

Last sunday went with Crystal to heartland mall to grab some materials. Planned to grab lunch and study at macs.

"study" was more like one hour worth of tictactoe and bingo XD

I WIN OKAY!

It was nice spending time with my junior! i'm worried that these days will end, and at times like these i hope time will stop.

i never want the musical to end, will we be seperated? will be become distant? thats why i want times like these to drag on longer.

And week by week, these little secrets of wednesday seems so miniscule and unimportant. Now the feelings of my eariler years are rushing back. And its overwhelming. Just like 2 years ago. i'm not gonna screw this up.

Stress won't pull me down. not ever.

Been painting again. "Hebi" has got to be one of my best paintings ever. this is a little overview =D

i used a new style here, blending of other colours in to skin colour. green and blue.

CAN YOU SEE HOW BEAUTIFULLY I PAINTED HIS HAND?!?! (i just love his hand!!) Another painting, eariler in to the year =D

6918 taking over the world. (wax crayons)

Well thats all for now~! BYE-BI <3

Thoughts of you, like a stain polluting my mind.

and i just can't get enough of you.

i'm the affair?!

LOL, okay okay so i'm the third party XD so much more charming than the boyfriend!

Wanteng is going for PROM! =D good to hear!

And Crystal is beyond cute XD after escaping from voldermort (You Know Who) she called her friend and complained xDDD BEYOND FUNNY!!!

Have to make lamps ;___;

Can't wait for sec4 farewell, i want to see my darling juniors cry (laughs.) Wanteng might know why. (its got nothing to do with a sadistic streak)

i have always wanted to be a nice, dependable senior. i hope i have fufilled that =D

i just want to say i love all my juniors! you guys are the best~!! with all the support and teamwork, it made me perservere, even though i was on the verge of giving up.

thanks you guys~!

i think in the end the musical wasn't THAT bad (though voldermort is evillll). i managed to spend more time with my juniors, and form great bonds with them.

This post is DEDICATED TO MY DEAR JUNIORS~! I LOVE YOU ALLL~!!!

i will so visit art club whenever i cannnnn~!!!!!!!!!!

WAN TENG I WANT THE RAMBUTANS THAT YOU PICKED!

Of sex bands and CDs.

You're terrorizing my world.

and its supposed to be a secret.

a badly-kept one.

The third day of every week that starts on a monday. The fourth row of every seat in the forth coloum in the second set. At these places and dates, carries little time pockets of which i hold dear. A small slip of barely an hour ten in the hetic-slow moving timetable. a small timeout.

It wasn't the droning voice of the speaker of the day, nor was it about the time break till end of torture, or school.

it was her.

Being given wisps of hope, like untangable smoke, tantailizing, trailing, between digits, in seduction, just waiting for you to fall prey to its empty promises. Only to fall through, i was non-exsistant, and seemingly there. Illusions in every smile and throathy laughter.

Having had the habit of clutching on to others' articles of clothing, i grasp the dark blue fabric tightly to my palm cheek.

I don't want to have to let go.

but i do.

And i find myself looking forward again to next week's little secret. counting down the days to the third of the next.

In my mind, i'm still clinging on.

-

i'm thinking of keeping a diary, paper bound, thin lines that seems to strech aimlessly across the page.

somewhere to spew my deepest darkets thoughts, in lengthy winding passages. of abstact languages which flow in reverettes. spiralling down, deep down to what boils molten hot. The truth. my every essence, thoughts, shall be marked down in brackets of privacy, away from prying eyes and wondering hearts.

i feel whimsical tonight, like i'm floating on air, never wanting to come down. similar to the feelings i get when i dream of her.

i never want to wake up,
but i do.

and in my heart, the fragments of the vague, nearly dissapating dreams, i feel the love, so highly sought after, like silver sparkels amongst deep murly waters. i would drown in them if i could.

I want to take a holiday with her, to a place where the air bites your skin, with grape kissed lips and salty wind. upon finely grained beaches, oak white, fair easle, warm skin, arms around my own. clinging to her very heat.

and kisses like the consumption of cloudy fluffy marshmallows. yet toasted and moist. soft yet hesitant, like every first's should.

in small four walls that is so dutifully owned by us, with paint splashed walls and floors, an aching back, and pride of rainbows upon the wood that props it up. A painting in all grandour. What awaits would be a sense of satisfastion in dribbles and the kneading of tanned palms across aching back. a result of hard work.

White cloth upon wood polished floor, half furnished apartment, an accoplished artwork.

and the two of us.

just like that.

Such is.... the shameless things that floats about in boredom and whismsy wishing. Though most of it IS a direct want.

Goodnight, shall retire a tad eariler than i usually do, musical business tomorrow, must make haste =D

The feeling to slit my wrist was never so strong, as it was that night.

it wasn't about dying. it wasn't about reliving stress. i had wanted someone to notice. i wanted someone to care. so badly.

i cried and cried, but i wasn't thinking about anything, my mind was blank. words shot out of my mouth, but i didn't know or understand what they had meant. i wasn't thinking.

and i though that maybe that anger, hate, would be transformed into something akin to concern, even pity would be very much appreciated.

i don't know....

i really don't know.

i've got a really short fuse lately. i snap really easily, and i just can't seem to control my temper. i'm afraid even talking with my friends seem so bothersome now. i'm not sure why. i'm coiled to tightly, about to snap. because of what? i don't know.

recently i just feel... like i'm invisible, like i'm not even there. when i talk, i get ignored, i guess. i can't, i just can't seem to be able to communicate with others. if one day i just disappear, will people take notice of my absence?

I can't hold up. i want someone, i need someone so badly. i want to be selfish, i want him to think of me, only of me. give me his full attention, talk to me, take notice of me, make me more visible. someone to hold onto, give me words of encouragement, to hold me, to feel wanted, to feel needed, to feel the warmth.

i can't keep holding on to life, when there is nothing to hold onto. there is no attachment to this world.

am i just so different, do people want me gone so much? am i so invisible? I can't hold it in. i want, need you so badly. anyone, anyone would do, someone to prove that i'm still here. that i'm not being overlooked, that i'm normal, that i can still be liked by someone.

i can;t keep pinning my hopes for long. i just cant. i think i'm at my limit.

i need a good hard cry, to tear these feelings out of my chest.

i can't hold on to this anymore. i need something subsancial, i need you.

just kill me slowly, from the lack of love.